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Robert Peston’s smugness growing as world nears economic meltdown
Following predictions that the world is on the verge of a global recession, financial markets have taken a further tumble after figures published by the BBC showed that the smugness of its business...
View ArticleStandard and Poor’s threaten to downgrade Kepler 22-b credit rating
Credit rating agency Standard & Poor’s has today warned newly discovered planet Kepler 22-b that it may downgrade its AAA credit rating if it fails to put appropriate measures in place to...
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Robert Peston deployed to Afghanistan as a manned drone
Philip Hammond, the UK Defence Secretary, today announced that the BBC’s verbose Business Editor Robert Peston had been sent to Helmand province in Afghanistan where he will play a pivotal part in the...
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Great white shark seen in Atlantic on its way to take over Co-op Bank
A great white shark that was spotted crossing from one side of the Atlantic to the other is on its way to hold discussions with the board of directors at the Co-op Bank, according to the head of the...
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Robert Peston to pioneer casual Fridays at ITV
The BBC’s economics editor is to leave his lucrative position as ‘man who pretends to know stuff after it has happened’ and to take-over the role of ITV’s dress-down expert. Known for his tenuous...
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ITV to have advertisements during Peston pauses
TV commercials will feature during gaps in Robert Peston’s ‘idiosyncratic’ speech, when he joins the independent broadcaster next year. ITV spokesperson Micky Smyth told a press conference that said...
View ArticleTV Brexit debate to feature eating of kangaroos’ penises
Prime Minister Theresa May has announced she has made an ‘historic’ deal with ITV to screen the forthcoming EU debate, with only minimal concessions to the eating of kangaroos’ penises by speakers...
View ArticleFans bereft after ‘classic’ 1st season finale of ‘Downing Street Daily Briefing’
Fans of bumbling not-based-on-reality TV hit ‘Downing Street Daily Briefing’ are mourning the end of the current series, as season one ended with a typically bombastic yet comfortingly incomprehensible...
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